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Silly Ads

  • Writer: Titi
    Titi
  • May 29, 2020
  • 2 min read

‘Who wins if you win?’ is the question asked in this advert for a lottery win. This is followed by a proud sounding ordinary person pulling on our heart strings by talking about their mum who has always been there for them or that sister who never asks for anything (except a for a few million if you did win). Since my awareness of the lottery, the price has gone up and the odds of winning have been slashed so in reality, who wins if you win? For one, the taxman, someone who you have most likely never met and are unlikely ever to meet gets a huge chunk of your winnings before it even hits your account. Not that you would care having scooped the improbable prize. Next on the list before you start distributing funds to family and friends (who will also make the taxman very happy as he will be visiting them too) is the Canadian teachers’ pension fund as this is who owns the UK lottery. For every ticket you invest in your dreams, the retired teachers get £2 thank you.


Next up, the shop you bought your dreams in will get something for the privilege of selling the winning one. And the list goes on, you will need a lawyer no doubt, an accountant certainly (unless you are one already and even then…), an investment manager if you want your dosh to last more than a few years, a butcher, a baker and because you can, a candlestick maker. Once all those people have been sorted out, then you can think of the family and friends who haven’t crossed you in recent memory, the ones who are still on your Christmas list. And for the people who have been left off the list, this is where a security detail, something you may never have required, becomes essential. So there is a growing list of people who win if you win and depending on who wins, may include the people who least expect it.

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